[Lily]

wooo i found it! and can i say damn?!! on the post from the spamish king? hahahah

[PartyJ]

'Speaking of spamming. There is a topic out there that tells you how to get the Spammer rank

[zera777]

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spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spam

[stillfree]

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 12:57 am Post subject: spam

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If you're at a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don't like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you're eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you're out back having SPAM with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, "Boy, this is good SPAM!"



If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked SPAM the most? I'd say Hambone, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong though. It's Flippy.



If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small cans of SPAM. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.



I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil SPAM on fire. No, I didn't. Just kidding. I just said that to help illustrate one of the human emotions, which is freaking out. Another emotion is greed, as when you kill someone for SPAM, or something like that. Another emotion is generosity, as when you pay someone double what he paid for his SPAM.



I hate it when people say somebody has a "SPAM impediment" even if he does, because it could hurt his feelings. So instead, I call it a "SPAM improvement," and I go up to the guy and say, "Hey, Bob, I like your SPAM improvement." I think this makes him feel better.



I hope if canned meats ever take over the world, and they choose a king, they don't just go by taste, because I bet there is some SPAM out there with some good ideas.



I'll be the first to admit that my idea of SPAM is pretty different. I believe in SPAM with a long white beard, a gold crown, and a long robe with lots of shiny jewels on it. He sits on a big throne in the clouds, and He's about five hundred feet tall. He talks in a real deep voice like "I...AM...SPAM!" He can blow up stuff just by looking at it. This is my own, personal idea of SPAM.



I read that when the archaeologists dug down into the ancient cemetary, they found fragments of SPAM! What kind of barbarians were these people, anyway?



I think a good gift for the president would be a revolver made of SPAM. And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him and hand it to him.



I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for SPAM. They look and look, but you know what? They never find it. And you know why they never find it? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page you can lick and it tastes like that sticky mucus in the bottom of the SPAM can.



I think a good way to get in a movie is to show up where they're making the movie, then stick a big loaf of SPAM on your buttocks and start yowling and running around. Everyone would think it was funny, and the head movie guy would say, "Hey, let's put him in the movie."



I think a new, different kind of bowling should be SPAM bowling." It's just like regular bowling, only the lanes are SPAM instead of wood. I don't know why we should do this, but my God, we've got to try something!



I think man invented SPAM by instinct.



I think people tend to forget that loaves of SPAM are living creatures. They're sort of like dogs. Quiet, pink, motionless dogs, with gelatinous ooze instead of fur.



I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with SPAM in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.



I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking SPAM is our friend.



I think there probably should be a rule that if you're talking about how many loaves of SPAM a bullet will go through, it's understood that you mean lengthwise loaves. Otherwise, it makes no sense.



I think there should be something in science called the "SPAM effect." I don't know what it would be, but I think it'd be good to hear someone say, "Gentlemen, what we have here is a terrifying example of the SPAM effect."



I think they should continue the policy of not giving a Nobel Prize for SPAM.



It makes me mad when I go to all the trouble of having Marta cook up about a hundred slices of SPAM, then the guy at Marineland says, "You can't throw that SPAM to the dolphins. They eat fish." Sure they eat fish, if that's all you give them! Man, wise up.



It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more SPAM. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that SPAM.



It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a SPAM can open, and Angel gets set on fire.



I wish a loaf of SPAM would get elected President. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.



Laurie got offended that I used the word "SPAM." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.



Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I thinking of SPAM.



Marta says the interesting thing about SPAM is that it's two lives connected by a thin strand. Come on, Marta. Grow up.



Maybe in order to understand SPAM, we have to look at the word itself: "SPAM." Basically, it's made up of two separate words--"SPA" and "M." What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is SPAM.



Most people don't realize that large pieces of SPAM, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a moron.



People laugh when I say that I think SPAM is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean SPAM with long, blond hair.



Sometimes, when I drive across the desert in the middle of the night, with no other cars around, I start imagining: What if there were no SPAM out there? And I get so confused I have to stick my head out the window into the driving rain---unless there's lightning, because I could get struck on the head by a bolt.



Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A loaf of SPAM with a knife in the side of its head with a note that says "You." After that, I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.



The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car--I forget what kind it was--and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some SPAM there. The smell of SPAM was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some SPAM, or not, and then I tihnk we went home. I guess some things never leave you.



The next time I have SPAM and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of SPAM. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more SPAM, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of SPAM from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?



To me, SPAM is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers get sick all over the place.



To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown ate my SPAM.



To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of SPAM when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?," you can say, "Sorry, got this SPAM."



Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called "SPAM Boy", because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of SPAM Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else." Then everybody would leaveSPAM Boy alone, and I'd invite him over to spend the night at my house, but after about five minutes of that smell, I'd have to kick him out. Maybe later we could get up a petition to get SPAM Family run out of town. Bye, SPAM Boy.



We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some SPAM he picked up in town.



What am I afraid of? I'll tell you: SPAM. that's right, SPAM. How could anyone be afraid of SPAM, you say. That's an honest question, and I'll try to give it an honest answer. First of all, did I say it was poisoned SPAM?



Whenever someone asks me to define SPAM, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back. NOW who's asking the questions?



When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or SPAM heaven, choose SPAM heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.



When this girl at the art museum asked me whom I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like SPAM." She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some SPAM for me.



You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has a severe addiction to SPAM.

yep....tryna see if i could get some money from the post lol

[Tarantio]

well, it made me laugh stillfree
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[Nirvana]

I WANT CANDY! I WANT CANDY! I WANT CANDY! I WANT CANDY! I WANT CANDY! I WANT CANDY! I WANT CANDY! I WANT CANDY! I WANT CANDY! I WANT CANDY! I WANT CANDY! I WANT CANDY! I WANT CANDY! even more CANDY!
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I can be quite annoying

[BlackFlag/TemporalWake]

get your fill of spam here tonight
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Blue-Button "PJ= internet love machine"

[jye]

spam

[zera777]

TO THE MAXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX...

I was bored