Episode 1: Divide and Conquer

[TheArtistOrSomething]

Okay, unlike many other fanfics, I am basically going to be simply transcribing the episodes verbatim. Now, obviously they won't be word-for-word and blow-for-blow identical, but I'm not planning on making any major changes to the story (at least not until the end of Season 4, but that's a long way from now).

Basically what I am bringing to the story is my style and interpretation, rather than adding new characters or major plot developments. Hopefully I'll end up with something worth reading.

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The Universe is a big place. Lots of space in it, and lots of places for things to go wrong.

One particular thing was going wrong in one particular place at this particular time. In the Milky Way Galaxy, in the Sol System, on a planet called Earth, in a town called Jump City, which was watched over by a large tower in the shape of a T, something was indeed going wrong. Specifically, it was going wrong in the city's maximum security prison, where something big, dumb, and ugly has just broken in. That's right, in.

"Code red! Cell block nine!" The lead guard yells to the others, as they run in through the remains of the front door. They move forward slowly, blast guns at the ready, looking for any sign of bad guys. Of course, it's kind of hard to see through the standard issue red-visored helmets they all have to wear, so, though he knows he'll regret it, the lead guard says "Main courtyard secure."

Sure enough, he eats his words as the industrial-strength double-thick blast-proof steel door lands, crumpled, at his feet.

"There he is!" He yells, finally seeing the intruder. He is not a pretty sight to behold. He is about ten feet tall, and made of some kind of stone or concrete. His eyes are glowing orange as he punches his way through the wall.

The guards all raise their weapons and fire, missing about ninety-five percent of the time. Man, WHY do they make us wear these stupid helmet things? At least they could give us clear face plates, so we can actually see our targets! Ah well. He decides it is not his job to question the wisdom of the higher ups, but merely to fire his gun at the bad guy until someone offers up a better solution.

No solution is given, but the giant stone man finally acts. He lifts up one giant foot and slams it down on the ground, hard, cracking up the courtyard and throwing the guards off their feet. Now unopposed, he walks into the prison complex.

Suddenly, a familiar voice calls from behind him, "You know, Cinderblock, usually criminals try to break out of jail!"

A second voice chimes in, "And I can think of five good reasons why you don't want to break in!"

"ONE!" The owner of the second voice, a young man with spiky black hair wearing a red, yellow and green spandex outfit steps forward, wielding a bo staff. He is called Robin.

"TWO!" A young woman with light orange skin, wearing a skimpy outfit of purple and chrome, flies forward and lands gracefully. She is called Starfire.

"THREE!" A green and black tiger leaps forward, transforming into a young man with green skin, the owner of the first voice, wearing a purple and black outfit. He is called Beast Boy.

"FOUR!" A young woman with gray skin, wearing a dark blue robe that covers most of her face in shadow floats down from the rafters. She is called Raven.

"FIVE!" A half man, half machine with brown skin and blue circuitry leaps boldly forward. He is called Cyborg.

Together, they are known as the Teen Titans.

Robin glares at Cinderblock and says with authority, "No matter how you do the math, it all adds up to you going down! So, are you going to go quietly?"

"Or is this gonna get loud?" Cyborg finishes, powering up his sonic cannon.

In answer, Cinderblock lets out an ear-shattering roar and charges forward like a raging rhinocerous.

"Titans, GO!" Robin yells, and they charge forward, ready to do serious battle.

(Cut to theme song)
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So, what do you think so far? Let me know in the discussion thread!

[TheArtistOrSomething]

Divide and Conquer

Cinderblock and the Titans charged toward eachother. Robin was the first to reach Cinderblock, and leapt into the air, delivering a super-powered kick to his solid stone jaw. Now, Robin's skills generally lie more in leadership and tactical planning, but he wouldn't make much of a superhero without some kind of superhuman abilities. He was blessed with your standard amount of super-strength, super-speed, and hyper-agility, and well as hgihtened endurance, a low injury rate, and an extremely generous pain tolerance. All of this is to say, that while a kick from a normal human to Cinderblock's jaw would just bruise their foot, this kick sent Cinderblock stumbling back a few steps, prime for Starfire's attack.

She charged up and fired a Starbolt blast right into Cinderblock's back, as Cyborg leapt into the air and brought a single punch down onto Cinderblock's arm with the force of his entire mechanically-enhanced body backing it up. Beast Boy transformed into a falcon and started darting around Cinderblock's head to distract him, and Raven used her powers of Azarath to lift a piece of the floor and throw it at him. He merely punched it, shattering it, as Raven floated up and out of his way.

Robin and Cyborg charged at Cinderblock, with Starfire flying not too far behind them. As soon as they were within range, however, Cinderblock sent them flying backward with a sweep of his arm, and then grabbed Starfire and held her tightly.

Starfire said with a knowing smile, "I am sorry to dissappoint you, but I am stronger than I look." With one swift kick, she broke his hold on her and sent him flying across the room.

Beast Boy transformed from a falcon into a Tyrannosaurus Rex, and charged at Cinderblock, but he sent Beast Boy flying backward with one swift punch.

Meanwhile, Raven was preparing to unleash a powerful attack, and began saying her magic spell. "Azarath... Metrion... Zinth--" and was suddenly knocked over by Beast Boy, who just barely managed to change back into human form before the collision.

He smiled sheepishly. "Uhh.... watch out for falling dinosaurs?" Raven gave him a look that said it all. He blanched. "Um, I'm gonna.... leave you alone now." And he ran off, as she blew a hair out of her eyes.

Thinking his enemies defeated, Cinderblock turned to continue his mission, only to be suddenly caught in a stranglehold by Robin. Not that a stranglehold accomplishes much on a giant block of concrete, but it at least made his movements slower and more predictable. Or at least that was the idea. Cinderblock began thrashing around wildly, trying to throw Robin off.

"Thrashing only makes me hold tighter!" Robin yelled, hanging on for dear life, as Cinderblock ripped one of the iron support beams from the wall. He swung it bachward, knocking Robin away. Cyborg smiled and said "Now, there's an idea!" He ripped out another support beam and charged Cinderblock with it. Both combatants were wielding large heavy weapons, and the fight was not a fast paced one, but they met each other blow for blow, sending sparks flying and a loud CLANG with every point of contact. After several blows, Cinderblock managed to push Cyborg back and get in one huge baseball-style swing, sending Cyborg skidding painfully along the flooor all the way across the room.

Cinderblock turned to face Raven and Starfire, who were floating nearby. He raised the iron support beam, only to have it suddenly turn red-hot and then melt in a flash of green light from Starfire's hands. She giggled to herself as Cinderblocked growled and tossed the useless metal aside. He turned around and, realizing he was now at facing the hallway he had come for, and that there was nobody between him and it, he began running down it, away from the Titans.

Robin walked over to the downed Cyborg and helped him to his feet. As Cyborg brushed himself off, Robin said with a smile, "Wanna give this guy the sonic boom?"

Cyborg smiled, and, activating his sonic cannon, said "I got the sonic if you got the boom!"

Robin smiled and nodded, triggering a flash grenade.

They began running down the hallway after Cinderblock. Cyborg called out "YO! ROCKHEAD!!" Cinderblock paused and turned, as Cyborg and Robin prepared their attacks. They ran to the sides of the hallway, jumped up and kicked off the walls, meeting in the top center of the hallway upside down, ready to unleash the Sonic Boom.

...Unfortunately, before they released the attacks, they accidentally got caught on each toher's foot and got sent spinning out of control, and fonally went flying down the hall in opposite directions. Cyborg hit the ground and released his Sonic Ray right onto Beast Boy and Starfire, as Robin lost hold of his flash grenade, which went off right at Raven's feet.

Smiling at this stroke of luck, Cinderblock turned and punched down the wall, storming through the cell behind it and punching down the next wall, and so on and so forth until he reached a hallway, then he made a swift right. Several prisoners looked around in bewilderment at their sudden freedom, and many tried to make a break for it. However, the Titans regrouped and managed to keep most of the prisoners in their cells. Cinderblock, however, was still at large.

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Cinderblock made his way down the long hallway to one cell far away from all the others. A large sign on the door said "ABSOLUTE SILENCE!"

Well, that sure wasn't going to be obeyed, as Cinderblock took out the door as well as a large portion of that wall in one very loud punch.

The room was lit with a soft blue light, and soothing patterns played across all of the walls. Sweet, relaxing music was being played thorughout the room. And right in the center of all of this was a large glass tube, connected to the ceiling by all sorts of wires and tubes, all of which were presumably life support for the man floating in the tube, sound asleep.

Cinderblock clomped his way up to the tube and unceremoniously ripped it free of all the wires, then punched a hole in the floor and jumped through it, pulling the tube with the sleeping man in it down with him.

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"Alright! Come on, I think we're going to make it!" said one of the two prisoners who had managed to sneak past the Titans, and were now running toward the broken remains of the door. Suddenly, the pieces of the dorr were surrounded by black energy and threw themselves back onto the frame, colsing off their escape route with a loud SLAM. A dark portal opened in the doors as Raven stepped through, saying simply, "Think again."

[TheArtistOrSomething]

Beast Boy grinned at their success, watching as all the prisoners were returned to their cells.

"Jailbreak? I don't see any jailbreak" he gloated.

Robin glared at Cyborg. "NOBODY would have seen one if Cyborg hadn't messed up!"

Cyborg whirled on Robin and replied in kind, "ME? I messed up nothin'! YOU got in my way!!"

"YOU were too far forward! And Cinderblock got away because of it!"

"You're saying this is MY fault!?!?"

"Want me to say it again?"

"Please!" Starfire interjected. "No more mean talking!"

Robin and Cyborg turned their backs on each other, and Beast Boy popped up, saying, "Yeah. If you two are gonna fight, we need time to sell tickets!"

Raven stepped forward and said calmly, "Cinderblock escaped. No amount of yelling is going to change that. So top acting like idiots, and let's go home."

Robin and Cyborg snarled at each other one last time before turning around and walking away.

"...Loser," Robin muttered.

"...Jerk," Cyborg grumbled.

They whirled around simultaneously and yelled "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?"

They ran up and got right in each other's faces.

"Do you have a problem, TinMan?"

"Yeah! It's four feet tall and smells like cheap hair gel!"

The other Titans cowered as Robin and Cyborg kept verbally thrashing each other.

"You're an overgrown klutz, and your feet smell like motor oil!"

"You're bossy, you're rude, you've got no taste in music!"

"I don't even know why you're on this team!"

"Well that makes two of us! I QUIT!!!"

The entire team, including Robin, was completely stunned at this, and Cyborg stormed off in a huff.

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>clunk clunk clunk clunk<

>whiiiiiiirrrrr<

>griiiiind... graaaate...<

>CLANG clink CLANG clink CLANG clink<

Huge metal gears turned against each other, interlocking in a complicated weave that only the one who built it could possibly hope to understand. Large pistons and pulleys and levers twisted and turned and pumped and pulled in time to a steady, rhythmic pulse that permeated the entire room;. A dim red light cast a gloomy, foreboding palor over the entire area. This was not the type of place to hold a formal dinner party. This was the type of place to hatch an evil scheme. And in fact, an evil scheme is exactly what was being hatched here.

Two pure white lights shone down fromt he ceiling of this otherwise dimly lit room. One shown down on a piece of broken, discraded machinery that had been refurbished to resemble a throne-like chair, in which sat a man nearly silhouetted in the bright light. Out from the left side of his heavily shadowed face gazed one malicious, piercing blue eye. Though his face is masked in shadow, he seems to be wearing a slight smile.

The second white light shone on the part of tghe floor directly in front of the throne, and it is into this circle of light that Cinderblock came, bearing the sleeping man in the tube over his shoulder.

"Cinderblock," a calm, cold, and calculalting voice said from the throne. The very sound of his voice was dripping with callous evil. "I see your mission was a success. Good. We will begin with Phase Two." He leaned forward. "Wake him."

Cinderblock twisted the top of the glass tube, until it popped open with a loud HISS and a burst of steam. The man inside stirred, and opened his eyes, which immediately widened in fear.

"I'm... awake? B-but I can never be awake! I'm only human when I'm sleeping!!"

"Yes," the dark man said from the throne, leaning further forward which revealed his face to be not merely masked by shadow, but by a hard metal mask. "But you see, your human form is useless for what I have planned. I need Plasmus!"

Indeed, as he was speaking, the man's body was melting, and expanding rapidly. It quickly became too massive to be contained by the tube, and the glass shattered, allowing the slimy mass of toxic reddish goo to stand free for the first time in a long time. It's horrid green eyes glowed from deep within its awful, horrendous face. It smiled a gruesome smile as it let out a noise that was somewhere between a roar and a scream.

Plasmus was free once more.

[TheArtistOrSomething]

>RIIIING....RIIIING....<

">Click< This is Cyborg. I'm either in the gym, playing GameStation, or kickin' badguy butt. Leave a message. >BEEP<"

"Dude, Cy? It's Beast Boy, pick up!" Beast Boy paced around the living room of Titans Tower, yelling into the phone receiver. "Come on Cy, please pick up? I know you're there! The phone's built into your arm!!"

After several seconds of silence, Beast Boy hung up the phone. Suddenly he found himself face to face with Starfire, who had a sympathetic look on her face. She was holding a bowl of something that looked like gray oatmeal, and said "Taste" while shoving a spoonful into Beast Boy's mouth.

His eyes widened to the size of basketballs as all of his body's systems made it their top priority to get whatever the heck that stuff was OUT OF HIS MOUTH!!! After spitting most of it out onto the floor, he desperately scraped the last traces of it off of his tongue with his hands. "Geez, Star, what is that stuff? Cream of Toenails?"

"It is Pudding of Sadness. It is what the people of my planet eat when bad things happen." She ate a spoonful of it herself, and shook violently in reaction to the mind-numbing flavor as she tried to choke the stuff down. She floated over to Raven, who was working on a control panel across the room.

"Try! The displeasing flavor will ease your troubled mind."

Raven glanced at Starfire and replied, "My mind is never troubled. People come, people go. It is pointless to be upset about Cyborg." Her hair fluttered in the air as the screens behind her were suddenly spiderwebbed with cracks.

Starfire raised an eyebrow, and Raven looked at her quizzically. "What?"


Up on the top floor, Robin was gazing out of the large bay window at the city, trying not to wonder where Cyborg was. Starfire flew up to him with the Pudding of Sadness. She held it out to him.

"Here Robin, you must need this most of all, since... well..." Her eyes turned down.

"I'm fine" Robin said simply, and began to walk away. He pasued. "Who knows? Maybe we're better off without him." And he walked off to the gym to take out his frustrations on a leather punching bag.


"HYA! HA HIYAH HYA HYA!! HAI-YAH!!!!" He yelled out as he let all his emotions flow from his heart through his arms and out his fists onto the punching bag. He paused to catch his breath, and glanced up to see he was facing Cyborg's bench press, with about 500 pounds of weights on it ready to lift. He turned and walked out.


Back in the kitchen, Beast Boy lifted up the last of a large number of tall stacks of dirty dishes, setting it on the counter next to all the others. "YO!" He called out. "WHOSE TURN TO DO DISHES?"

"Cyborg's" Robin said, stepping forward to do them himself. Beast Boy watched for a moment, then walked away.


After he finished the dishes, Robin went to play some video games. "Come on, come on!" He mumbled, thrashing his fingers against the controller, shooting at things while the things shot at him. "Come on, no... YES! Got it! Just one more, aaaand...." He hit the last enemy. "YEAH!! New high score!!"

Cyborg's name appeared onscreen next to his score, as Robin's name and score flew down and crushed them, leaving a pile of smoking debris where they once were. Now feeling more depressed, he left to find something else to do.

He went to Cyborg's room, and, not entirely sure why, he opened the door and looked around. He took special note of the picture on Cyborg's desk; the picture fo the two of them laughing together about something. They were so carefree and happy. They were friends. Robin looked around the room again. All the good times, all the memories.... all gone.

It all came out in two simple words: "I'm sorry."

>WHOOOOP! WHOOOOP! WHOOOOP!<

The emergency alarm was going off. Robin ran as fast as he could to the command center, where the other Titans were already looking at the viewscreen. Robin took a guess:

"Cinderblock strikes again?"

"You wish," said Beast Boy.

[TheArtistOrSomething]

Meanwhile, at a toxic waste processing facility....

>PSSSHW! PSSSHW!<

Rancid ooze of varying degrees of ickiness were spewed from tubes into large vats. Bright green gobs of highly toxic g**k in the midst of being neutralized sprayed gloppily from one place to another. Barrels and barrels of toxic waste of all kinds, from the merely chemically hazardous to the actually radioactive, were processd by this facility every day. But this day, many of the barrels didn't make it to the processor. They were apprehended en route by a large living mass of reddish glop, and with every barrel of toxic chemicals he drank, he grew several feet in each direction. While slurping down a barrel of particularly thick neon green sludge, the bottom of the barrel was suddenly blasted out by a flash of green light. Plasmus looked into the barrel as the rest of the ooze dribbled disgustingly out onto the floor, where it began to slowly eat through the upper layer of concrete. Through the now open bottom of the barrel were framed the Teen Titans, ready for a fight.

"That stuff can't be good for you!" Robin said.

Plasmus discared the empty barrel and let out a large belch.

"Nice one!" Beast Boy said with a smile.

Plasmus apparently didn't take the compliment very well, as he chose that moment to attack, by firing globs of reddish toxic goo at them. Everybody ran, dodging the slime globs as they went. Robin got behind a large crate and yelled, "Star! Let him have it!"

She let loose with a Starbolt blast that blew right through the center of Plasmus' chest, leaving a dripping, gaping hole in its wake.

Starfire gasped. "Did I let him have too much?"

Plasmus sucked in a huge breath, simultaneously filling the hole with more of his g**k, leaving no trace of the wound.

"I'm thinkin' not enough!" Beast Boy replied.

Plasmus shot his whole arm straight at Starfire, but Raven tackled her out of the way just in time.

"Maybe he just needs to chill," Robin muttered, triggering a light-blue colored grenade. he threw it at Plasmus' now outstretched arm, and it converted the entire appendage into crystaline ice. Plasmus looked at his now solidified arm, and, in anger, shattered it against the ceiling.

Robin extended his bo staff and Beast Boy transformed into a Pterodactyl and they both charged. Starfire also flew straight at Plasmus, flinging Starbolt after Starbolt straight at him, pushing him back up against a wall. beast Boy then flew in attacking with his claws, but Plasmus blocked every strike, and then struck back by flinging several dozen tendrils at them. Beast Boy barely managed to get out of the way, and Starfire blasted each one that came near her with a Starbolt, managing to fend them off.

Across the room, Raven floated up, intoning her spell. "Azarath... Metrion... ZINTHOS!!" Now, it takes a lot of energy to move objects telekinetically, but it takes significantly more energy to create solid objects with Azarath energy, and even more than that to overtake and move something living. Because of this, rather than using the energy itself as a weapon or throwing the enemy into things, Raven tends to pick up nearby objects and hurl them at the enemy, as she did now with several barrels lying nearby. Plasmus was knocked back by the force of the barrels, but merely used his gooey body to fire the barrels straight back at her, which she dodged.

Having seen all of this, Robin decided it was time to get "hands on", so to speak. He leapt at Plasmus feet first, and planted a doublekick right into his chest area. He then began punching and kicking Plasmus into submission. Or at least, that had been the plan. Every part of him that touched Plasmus stuck there, so after the double kick and two punches, he was unable to move. He struggled and pulled and pushed, trying to break free, and finally yelling:

"Let me go, you giant zit!"

Plasmus looked down at Robin and let out a scream-roar from his dribbly, disgusting face, then shot Robin across the room in a stream of g**k like a fire-hose, which took Beast Boy down along the way.

Starfire ran over to Robin, who was now covered in reddish toxic ooze. "Robin! Are you okay?"

Robin struggled up to his knees, and replied, "Yeah..... sort of." He then spat out a mouthful of the goop. Beast Boy meanwhile was repeating his tongue scraping performance from earlier, saying "And I thought Star's pudding tasted bad!"

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In a room we have seen once before, a large screen was illuminated with Plasmus' ugly face as he let out another scream-roar. The metal-masked man watched all of this with presumably a smile on his face.

"How disappointing," he said with a voice as smooth as cyanide. "With one Titan missing this is almost too easy. Cinderblock! Begin Phase Three."

[TheArtistOrSomething]

>SPLORKT!!<

Starfire poked struggled up out of the ooze.

"Ugh! I feel like the underside of a Zornian MuckBeetle!"

Raven poked her head out. "Tell me about it."

Plasmus had turned on Beast Boy now, and was chasing him around the room.

"Dude! I am not on the menu! Whoah!"

Beast Boy dove out of the way just in time for Robin to sink his Grappling Hook into Plasmus' gooey body, He then began to run in circles around him, saying, "Maybe the best way to take you down... is to tie you up!"

Before Plasmus could react to this, Beast Boy transformed into a rhinocerous and bowled the bound Plasmus over onto his back. Starfire then used her alien superstrength to bend one of the steel support beams over Plasmus, while Raven used her Azarath powers to do the same with two more. Plasmus was now unable to move.

"We did it!" exclaimed Starfire joyously.

"Nice work team!" Robin congratulated them all.

"Yeah, I didn't think we'd pull it off without--" Raven elbowed Beast Boy in the gut before he could finish that sentence. He chuckled sheepishly.

Robin whipped out his communicator as an alert went off. "We finished just in time. Cinderblock's been spotted downtown. Come on!"

They all started to leave, but stopped when they heard a strange gurgling noise behind them. They turned and watched in horror as Plasmus divided himself into five segments, thus escaping the metal bars. Each segment took on a shape and life of its own, and they all scream-roared at once.

"Uh, heads up." warned Beast Boy uselessly. They turned and ran for the door as the five Plasmae charged toward them. As soon as all four of them were through they slammed the door shut and braced themselves up against it. A lud banging could be heard and felt through the door as the Plasmae beat against it.

"Four against five. Not good odds." Beast Boy said.

"Forget the odds, we need a plan." Robin replied.

{This section is obviously far from over, but I'm taking a break for now. I'll finish it later.}